


Undeserving

by DemonzDust



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Scott, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Childhood Trauma, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings Realization, Feels, Gen, Good Theo Raeken, Hurt Theo Raeken, Hurt/Comfort, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Nightmares, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Redemption, Sceo Week, Scott is cautious, but he's still got major feels about Theo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-07-07 23:46:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19860019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemonzDust/pseuds/DemonzDust
Summary: The first time Scott hears it, he ignores it. Theo's rapid heartbeat, his gasping breath as he wakes, the shuddering of his body as he whips his head around, confused about where he is...none of that is any of Scott’s concern. Or it shouldn’t be. [Scenes between the canon scenes of Teen Wolf 6A]





	Undeserving

**Author's Note:**

> This is another fic from my collection of unfinished one-shots that I wrote years ago. I dusted it off it off and finished it for Sceo Week Day 5 — Angst With A Happy Ending. It’s canon-compliant and set in-between the scenes of Teen Wolf 6A. This first chapter is set during 6x07 (Heartless) with Theo's first night back in Beacon Hills

The first time Scott hears it, he ignores it.

Theo's rapid heartbeat, his gasping breath as he wakes, the shuddering of his body as he whips his head around, confused about where he is...none of that is any of Scott’s concern. Or it  _ shouldn’t _ be.

The only reason Theo’s sleeping on his sofa to begin with is so Scott can keep an eye on him.

The second time it happens is only an hour later. As he snaps awake again, his neck and brow drenched in cold sweat, the nearly hyperventilating chimera makes the most pathetic miserable sound Scott thinks he's ever heard

It's harder to ignore that time, as Theo makes an obvious effort to calm himself down. He rolls over and the chain he has clasped to his ankle rattles along the floor and against the radiator where it’s anchored. He has his face pushed into sofa cushions but Scott can still hear his ragged breath, still see the tremors in his shoulders.

He tries to remind himself that he doesn't care. He  _ shouldn't  _ care. Theo hurt him. Hurt his friends, his  _ pack _ . He doesn’t deserve Scott’s pity. He doesn’t deserve Scott’s sympathy. He doesn't deserve to have Scott walk over there and rub his shoulders till they stop shaking.

_ He's probably putting on this little show for your benefit. _ He tries to convince himself.  _ Showing you some weakness to gain your sympathy. Making himself seem helpless so you let your guard down again. _

He's not falling for it. Not this time.

Or at last he  _ shouldn't _ .

But no matter how many times he recites all the reasons  _ why _ he shouldn't care, he can't help the thin threads of sympathy from tugging at his chest.

The third time it happens, Scott gives in. With a heavy sigh he rises up from the armchair he’d been attempting to sleep in, and, stretching stiffly, makes his way into the kitchen.

He knows Theo doesn't deserve it, but he doesn't care. He can't watch someone suffer like that. Not even his worst enemy...which Theo very well may be. He may not have hurt as many people as Peter or Deucalion but he'd hurt Scott deeper, and his attacks had been far more personal.

It wasn't  _ just _ because Theo had hurt his pack or that he'd tried to take everything from him, Scott finally owns to himself as he puts a slightly scored kettle on the stove and digs two chipped mugs out of the cabinet. It's also because Theo had gone far out of his way to make Scott believe he was his friend, that he wanted to be close with him and that he'd come specifically to join his pack.

It's that Scott really believed him, and was starting to care about him. He would have helped him. He would have protected him. If Theo had just come clean and told Scott everything he could have forgiven any past discretion. If Theo had only wanted to change and asked for help.

But he hadn't because he didn't  _ want _ Scott's help. He didn't  _ want _ to change. He just wanted to get Scott out of the way. And  _ that _ hurt.

Scott sighs as he fills two strainers with loose green tea leaves—a gift from Kira's father. He hasn't touched it since Kira left because he never seems to be able to make it right; It always comes out too strong kind of dirty tasting.

But he's sure Theo can deal.

He pulls the leaves out and drops them in the sink to clean in the morning, then, attempting to resolve himself to not be too much of a ridiculous sap about this, picks the mugs up and strides back into the living room.

“Hey.” Scott says flatly, standing over Theo, who rolls onto his back to meet his eyes. His hazel irises are tired and sleepless. There's a broken quality in them that Scott is reasonably certain was not there before. “Slide over.”

Theo looks at him for a moment, obviously surprised, but then carefully draws himself up into a sitting position, eyeing Scott cautiously as he sits down next to him.

“Here.” Scott says, practically thrusting the cup in his hands.

Theo takes the cup and glances down at it briefly before bringing it to his lips. If the tea tastes awful he doesn't say anything about it.

Scott takes a sip of his own, and there's a long awkward moment of silence.

“I'm...sorry for waking you up.” Theo says eventually, and Scott sighs.

“Of course you apologize for literally the only thing you've done that I'm not mad about.” he says. “It's not your fault you can't sleep.”

“Well...” Theo says, drawing his bare feet up onto the sofa and slipping them beneath the blanket now crumpled up between them. “I didn't think you'd really accept an ‘ _ I'm sorry’ _ for the other stuff.”

“So you're not even going to try?” Scott asks, a small edge in his voice. “Like even a  _ little _ bit?”

“Would it really make a difference to you?” Theo asks. “Would you forgive me?”

“No.” Scott says firmly. “I wouldn't just instantly forgive you, but it  _ would _ make a difference...if you meant it.”

“How would you even know if I did?” Theo asks. He doesn't say it antagonistic or bitchy, only pointing out a sad truth.

“I guess I wouldn't.” Scott admits.

“Do you still want to hear me say it?”

“Yes.”

“Then, I'm sorry.”

There’s a long silence after that. Scott struggles with what to say next. ‘ _ Thank you’ _ doesn’t make sense, but neither does ‘ _ I forgive you’ _ . More than anything Scott wants to know if it’s authentic, but he’s not even sure if Theo knows if it is.

“Theo…” he started, slowly. “ _ Why _ ?”

“Why am I sorry?”

“No. Why did you do it?”

Theo clearly hadn’t expected the question. His eyes widen before his gaze drops down to the cup in his hand. Scott watches his fingers slide ever so slightly up and down it’s polished surface.  


Is it a small nervous tell? An intentional display of faux-vulnerability to garner sympathy? A genuine display of vulnerability because he’s been broken and can’t keep the mask up as well as he used to?

It’s tearing Scott up inside not knowing.

“I…” Theo says at last. “I don’t know how to answer that.”

“You could try.” Scott says, flatly. “You could give me  _ at least _ that much effort.”

“You don’t  _ know  _ what you’re asking.” Theo breathes in a broken whisper, his white knuckles gripping the mus so hard they’re almost trembling. “You have  _ no idea  _ what you’re asking…”

There’s so much pain in his voice that Scott wants to let him have his way. Give in to the unspoken plea to be released from a conversation that he was very clearly not emotionally equipped to have.

But he can’t. At least not entirely.

“You know that I would have helped you, right?” Scott asks. “I would have protected you from them if you’d told me the truth. I would ha—”

He’s interrupted by a harsh disbelieving scoff.

“No, you wouldn’t have.” Theo says, eyes fixed bitterly on the floor. “Not if you heard  _ everything _ . You would have—”

“You don’t think I could understand that you were eight years old?” Scott interrupted, forcefully. “That you were all alone? Confused? Desperate?”

Theo’s gaze finally snapped up, finding Scott’s eyes and locking on them like a moth drawn to the flame.

“What if I wasn’t confused?” he asks, his voice hoarse. “What if I knew  _ exactly _ what I was doing?”

“Did you?”

“I…” Theo’s hands are trembling. He’s gripping the cup so tightly Scott knows it’s going to crack. “I…”

Before he can think better of it, he reaches out and covers both Theo’s hands with his own. Gently steadying him. He half expects Theo to withdraw, but he doesn’t.  


“ _ I don’t know, anymore _ .” Theo whispers, a tear glistening as it escapes from the corner of his eyes and slides down the smooth skin of his cheek. “I can’t remember."

His voice is so low it’s almost impossible to hear him. He can’t hold Scott’s gaze as he uttered the admission — something Scott was almost certain he’d never told another living soul. Scott finds his thumb moving unconsciously across Theo’s wrist. He makes himself stop the caress, but doesn’t let go.

His head is still bowed. His hands are still trembling.

“Theo, listen to me...”

Theo sniffs, and gulps down a second round of tears.

“I know you think that you’re fate is sealed, that you are who you are and that nothing you can do will ever change that.” Scott says firmly. “But the truth is, your fate is sealed only when you choose to accept it. People like us, most of us have made  _ terrible  _ mistakes. Those mistakes have consequences, but no matter what,  _ you _ can always change. You don’t have to keep being something just because it’s what you’ve always been.”

Theo is quiet, so he continues.  


“The consequences of what you did are never going away.” he says. “You can’t bring back the dead. You can’t turn back time. But the person that did those things — you don’t have to  _ be _ that person anymore if you don’t want to.”

“Why...” Theo whispers after a long moment. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because.” Scott squeezes Theo’s hands, steadying his shaking once more. “I think you need to hear it.”

He lets his hands slip form Theo’s wrists as he stands.

“Just give it some thought.” he offers, finally.

* * *

Theo watches Scott’s back as the Alpha moves quietly up the stairs to his bedroom. Scott’s actions, his beliefs, have always mistified Theo. Whenever he tries to add them up, they don’t seem to make any sense. How could anyone care for the wellbeing of someone that had hurt them the way Theo had hurt Scott?

Would Scott really had taken him in if he’d told him about the Doctors and Tara? Had he just hinted at possibility of forgiveness if he changed now?  _ Can  _ he change now? Is it possible, the way Scott seems to think that it is?

Who would he even be if not that person?

He slowly brought the mug back up to his lips. The stuff tasted foul. Like hot water and bitter dirt, yet there was still something about it that Theo liked. He drank deeply, let the over-rich flavors dance along his tongue. Breathed in its earthy scent, and swallowed down every drop.  


When the mug was empty he set it down on the coffee table, and reclined back down on the sofa. As he closed his eyes, he felt the warmth of the drink seeping through his chest.

He turned his face into the sofa cushions, the ones that carried the strong scent of the house’s inhabitants, and finally fell into a deep sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! There's going to be 1-2 chapters more covering, set during or between the following episodes of 6A, but probably not till after Sceo Week is over (I've got a few more fics that I want to publish before the week is finished. xD)
> 
> Constructive comments and feedback are always very much appreciated!


End file.
